This post is following from my introductory post on My Way In…
So now I just needed to jump…
I believe that quitting a job that doesn’t suit you is like breaking up with a boyfriend that doesn’t suit you. (Feel free to replace HIM with YOUR COMPANY in most sentences below)
At first it seems impossible to live without him. You don’t know if anyone else would like you or worthy you like him. You think of how convenient it is to be with him, of all the perks. How your day-to-day revolves around him and the friends you made through him. And so you shake off the idea of breaking up although deep down inside you know your heart isn’t in it. You know you either don’t enjoy your time with him as much as you should or your true value is not being appreciated. So slowly you start to think of it more and more. You start to realize just how many things you have come to accept actually make you unhappy. You start talking to other people with a different experience and realize you might be settling just because you are scared of the unknown. You start thinking of what you really want and you decide that clearly the unknown is better than being unfulfilled. So you break up with him. And if it was the right thing to do you take ONE HUGE BREATHE OF RELIEF and think FINALLY I DID IT. And in that moment, you are so happy. You are so free. And after a few weeks you start seeing even more clearly why you were never meant to be with that person and you think to yourself why on earth did it take me this long to take the jump.
And it doesn’t stop there. No one says that quitting is the hard part and it’s all downhill from there. You then need to find another boyfriend (job). You need to resist the temptation of glorifying the positive and forgetting the negative about your past experience. And most probably you’ll need to do it a couple of times before you get it right. But you will keep doing it if you want to feel happy, fulfilled and appreciated for who you are in life. And that is just as true for a relationship as it is for job.
The problem is it is completely accepted in society that you need to have several relationships to find out about what you want, what works for you and how different people bring out different things in you. And of course just like in relationship – there are those few people who are lucky enough to get it right the first go around. But this is the MINORITY not the rule. So why have people not realized and more importantly accepted that it is the same for companies?
When people say they had to stop their relationship because their heart’s wasn’t in it – people pat them on the back for taking the right, difficult decision. But when you quit your job you are often made to feel as is if you failed; you are a quitter. You didn’t fit in; you couldn’t step up to the plate; you didn’t succeed. Especially if it’s a big prestigious firm – where they brain-wash you into thinking that only the best and brightest make it through. While the weak will sooner or later be washed to the waste side. And sure those words are never said but I can tell you, having experienced it, that some people (normally the really unhappy/envious ones) are very effective in patronizing you into feeling that way.
Before I joined the company I read in fancy business magazines that the trend has shifted to people changing companies more often. Having worked in a big company I still see the reality of it not being where it should be. There are too many people who put less thought (and give themselves less freedom) in choosing their companies than they do their partners.
And I was one of them. Until now.
And I can tell you the day I quit was the best day of my life.